I am alive because Jesus Christ saved my life!
My testimony is extremely long, so I will share briefly!
I had planned to commit suicide on my 24th
birthday. I had been in a deep dark dungeon of depression.
I had an attempted suicide at the age of 16 years old. I had grown up in a home of domestic violence. My mum eventually divorced my dad after he broke my sister's
My mum went on to marry another man who was a violent alcoholic, and the domestic violence started all over again but this time it was worse, I was also sexually abused by him. At 16 years old, I
felt my eyes had seen enough and my ears had heard enough and I no longer wanted to live. I hated him, myself and life. I came home drunk and got into an argument with my mum. I went upstairs to my room where I had a bottle of pain killers in my room. I took
what was left in the bottle and waited for my mum to go to bed, more tablets were kept in the kitchen cupboard. However, my mum did not go to bed and stayed up. I continued to wait but with the number of tablets and alcohol in my system I passed out. When
I awoke in the morning, I was in absolute agony, I had really excruciating stomach pains. I was rolling around on the floor and I was vomiting and continued to vomit for the next three days, I could not hold anything down in my stomach. My mum asked me what
was wrong and I just said I had food poisoning. It was just another thing to brush under the carpet. My life just continued on after that.
Approaching my 24th birthday and looking back over the years, I felt nothing had
changed in my life, I was still consumed by the pain of the past and I was still just as miserable. My life was a complete mess.
I cried out to God, If you're there? HELP ME!! because I can’t take it anymore!
I'm going to kill myself on my birthday and this time I'll make sure I have all the tablets.
My birthday fell on a Wednesday and on the Saturday before, circumstances led me to be at a bus stop in Golders Green. Two girls
approached me. One of the girls said, “We are from a local church and we are just letting people know where we are". The other girl said, "I just want to tell you, Jesus loves you!" I started to cry and said, "What if everythings a mess". and she said:
"God is a good God, he's a God of one chance, two chances, three chances".
I remember how happy they looked and I remember their faces were shining, they seemed so peaceful. I remember thinking, I wish I was that happy!
They invited me to church the following day. I thought to myself, I’m not killing myself until Wednesday, I may as well go!
The following day I went to the church (a restaurant) I remember
walking in and I heard this amazing music. The girl leading worship said, "You think your problems are big but nothing is bigger than God".
I thought they're just words, they're not going to change my life, I’m too
There was a preacher who was from Hawaii, a very prophetic man of God. He called me up for prayer (At this point, I had not told them about my plans to kill myself.) He prayed for me and then asked all the
ladies in the church to come up and lay hands and pray for me.
Afterwards, I felt like ten thousand bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. I walked out of the church and thought this will not last, just wait till
I get to the end of the road, it will all come back. I got to the end of the road and still felt great. I continued this all the way home. I thought just wait till you get home, once you put the key in the door, it will all come back. Once inside the house,
I still felt great!
That night I had a bath and my feet left two black imprints on the bathtub. I tried for ages to clean them but they would not go! I thought this is really strange. I called my mum and my mum spent the
next half an hour scrubbing these black imprints.
On the Wednesday – which was my birthday I went to the bible home group and gave my life to the Lord, I told them what happened and the pastor informed me a deliverance
The following Sunday I went to church and thought I can’t wait to go out on the streets with them, to tell others about Jesus, I bet they go out every week. That Sunday the pastor stood up and said,
that was the very first time they had gone out onto the streets, that he had heard God say, "Send the people out"! I was so gobsmacked, I had just taken it for granted that they were out on the streets all the time, like it was just a coincidence or something.
God heard my cry and answered my prayer.
God completely turned my life around, I had never felt such peace, love and joy.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid John 14:27
Jesus came to set the captives free and he set me free that day!